Fourteen! Woo! Insert Clever Number Pun Here!

Time is a rather fickle flapping falcon. It comes and it goes, building momentum as we bathe within it. Now take ten minutes to think about that. Preferable out of a bus window (best philosophy school EVER!).

Speaking of philosophy, I've come to learn that one of the best ways to let the ideas flow is to scrub a few plates with soap. As we lack dishwashers here, all of the washing is done by hand, which in reality is a beautiful blessing in disguise. In this sudd-soacked pocket of time, one can dream freely, unraveling the mysteries of difficulties and the depths of eternity. And then we have clean dishes, so that's a bonus! :D

The females here are becoming more and more apparent in attaining their ultamate goal. Just a few days ago, a girl shouted after us, "Mi VISA!"
...Well, at least she's honest!

Deluge! We'd another serious of storms hit our area, one of which took the life of my Missionary Daily Planner. WHY CRUEL FATE?! ;D

Oh! Right! We got attacked this week! ...By laughter! (Made you jump.)

Elder Thibault was cooking lunch, while I equalized the time by washing dishes. As I turned to put a plate away, water flew off into the hot oiled pan that Elder Thibault was holding...which apparently makes fire. A freaking benemoth column of heavenly flame burst forth like a culinary gyser of fire, causing our lungs to quickly deflate as their contents beat upon our voice boxes.

...We screamed a little bit. But it wasn't like a noprmal scream! I've no idea why, but we both screamed like two octaves low. Afterward, I laughed hysterically for the next ten to fifteen minutes.

One misconception that I would like to sweep away about missionary service: it is in no way a simple walk in the park. Sacrificing everything for two years of your life (including family, friends, plans, jobs, opportunities, hobbies, school, and essentially yourself) is one of the most challenging things you will ever do in your youth, quite possibly even your entire life (I wouldn't know for certain; I've only come this far down my road). There will be times where you'll feel as though you just want to collapse to your knees and weep until the tears stop flowing. These past fourteen weeks alone, I've been hit from almost every angle, my soul bruised and burned from the bouts with sorrow, discouragement, and anxiety.

A rational person at this point would ask, "Why on earth would you volunteer for something like this?"

The answer is simple, but ultimatly profound: I KNOW IT'S TRUE. And if my sacrifice can bring others to this same knowelege, this same happiness, then I'd be a wicked man to refrain from such. The only reason we can even give such a service in the first place came about because of the Greatest Sacrifice of All. Is this then foolishness to desire to give a sliver of my time and a portion of my pain to the one who gave his entire life and the entirety of his agony so that I might live?

The most fundamental piece of this Church is sacrifice. The irony, however, is that when we give to The Lord, he returns to us One-Hundered-Fold.

Speaking of returns, we'd a miracle strike our chapel this week! Elder Thibault and I have been struggling to get our investigators to church these past several...umm...forevers. Saturday, we mutually decided to turn to a higher power to aid our quest. Thus began the fast!

...AND IT WORKED WONDERS!!! Keep in mind that Dominicans are kind of horrible when it comes to keeping commitments, ESPECIALLY when it comes to coming to church. The most I have ever seen with regards to investagators atending has been two. This Sunday, however, we had TEN investigators show, AND FIVE Less-Active Members attend! FREAKING GLORIOUS! I literally had to use all of my might to refrain from screaming for joy.

The Lord is indeed refining me. When I return to your embraces, I will truly be indefinetly greater than I could have ever aspired to be on my own. (And I'll be Bilingual!)

Peace, Love, Unity, Serenity!

-Elder MK Jones

(Oh, and your homework for this next week is to email something related to Thanksgiving. It's fairly open ended, so go for it!)

:D

Lucky Number 13!

Mark off your calenders, because another week of glory has passed beyond our temporal perspective! I'd a bit of a wacky realization the other day, as I suddenly realized I'm over 1/8th of the way through my mission. ...IT'S WACKY!

I've been a bit of a rebel this past week, doing things I know my mother would never approve of. For example, riding in a car without a seatbelt (as well as riding with seven people in a five seater car [that's Dominican Public Transport for you!]), running across a highway to catch a transport back to Villa Altagracia, and hitchhiking to similarly get back to Villa (this being a seperate situation than the second mentioned). Woo!

But first, A MIRACLE! Last week, we were in a new area, known as "La Cuchilla" (no one seems to know why), in which we've been having huge success. However, the church member who normally gives us a ride was busy that day, so we'd to rely on public transport to get us there and back. However, all public transport ceases at 6PM, so we'd only a pinch of time to our preachy alotment. Like determined Soldiers of God, we got back at 5:50PM...only to be told by a bystander that all of the transports were gone. Stunned, we thanked the man, and began to walk, trying to think of a way to get back home. After a moment, w decided to pray, and put matters in Holier hands. It was not five minutes after we finished that we heard someone shout "Elders!". As we turned, we saw a man walking towards us, who introduced himself as Brother Nobles (in perfect English, no less), and that he's been looking for Missionaries from Villa Altagracia so as to find out what time we have church on Sundays (as where he lives is technically within our Ward boundries, despite it being 30 minutes away). He then gave us a ride back to Villa, and we spoke all the while. He's been a member for 45 years (and counting), picked up English when he lived in the States for a huge chunk of his life, then came back to the Dominican Republic to retire. This actually serves as a double blessing, as if we start up a church Branch out there (and we very well might), we know where to find one member! Haha! Glorious!

The closest thing to a Frecca Story I have: as we were walking to a lesson, a group of three girls walked towards us. As our two parties neared their crossing point, one of the three split from the group to walk towards me, and began doing a robot walk. Yes, you're reading that right. She literally began walking like a robot towards me. ...You know, sometimes, I don't even know... :D

Hitchhiking! Once again, while trying to get out of La Cuchilla (our phone had no service and we couldn't get ahold of our ride), we walked for 30 minutes to no avail, shaking our thumbs at those who passed all the while. After a time, a red semi passed by, we shook our thumbs...and it kept going around the bend. Elder Thibault shook his head, and said, "I didn't think that one would have stopped anyway. As we rounded the corner...it was stopped. :D
The driver gave us a ride back to Villa, and we thanked him magnimoniously for assisting us.

And now, here's a comic to spice up your week!

Peace, Love, Unity, Serenity!

-Elder Jones

Move Over Peter Capaldi, There's a More Important 12 at The Mo!

Ah, that's one thing I miss: being able to make a Doctor Who reference and get at least one grin of comprehension. Entonces!

It's Monday, Monday, gotta write everyone on Monday... 

The land is ours now! Last Tuesday, the other two Elders flew away from Villa Altagracia, leaving 2.5 areas for Elder Thibault and I to juggle. AND IT'S GLORIOUS. We've been teaching so many people! We actually are doing kind of poorly with regards to contacting, as we normally have to move ubber quickly between our appointments! (We're trying to fix the lack of contacting problem, but still!)

Well, I suppose the first place to start is to establish very firmly that "Bible-Bashing" is a weapon that should not be wielded by a Missionary. This past Tuesday (I have to remind myself what the days are called in English), we had an appointment with a fellow, but to our dismay, when we arrived, we learned that he wasn't home. His wife, however, showed interest in our message, so we began to teach her. The lesson was incredibly powerful, and the Spirit was indeed present...up until when the guy we had an appointment with walked in. Almost automatically, he picked up a freaking gigantic stack of his Church's magazines, and initiated the Faith War. He ranted for a while (a loooonng while) about the condition of the spirit after death, and how it becomes as nothing upon it's separation from the body. When he paused for breath, I asked, "So, what is the meaning of life?" He was a bit taken aback, and said that we need to do good things in this life to help others, to which I replied, "But if there's nothing after death, why does it matter? Eventually, we all will die, and if we become nothing, then why does this life matter?" He began to ramble again, and hastily changed the subject.

Here's the thing: debates do not change people. Only the Spirit can ignite that change. From my experiences, debates only set both sides more firmly in their opinion. Now, don't get me wrong, I do enjoy a mentally stimulating debate here and there, but with regards to the Gospel of Jesus Christ, it's a no-go zone. If you're just trying to prove someone wrong/yourself right, the heart becomes as stone. But when people see that you truly do love and care about them, and that you want them to feel the happiness that you've called your friend for so long...well, that's where the heart is truly touched.

Again, I do not have a Frecca Story! I was not attacked by flirty girls. However! I was attacked by a swarm of Mormon children earlier today. One jumped on my back, the others pulled on my arms, and I was forced to my knees. I hobbled around, making absurd noises and laugh-screaming, and more kids took notice. They just kept pouring and pouring upon me...eventually, I ended up in a fetal position on the floor, with a mountain of niños piled atop me. :D
Little Mormons kind of adore the Elders. We're like superheros. BUT BETTER.

We've an investigator who's been really stuck progression-wise, and she finally confessed to us that she's been really confused by the stuff about the LDS Church she's seen online (DK Anti-Mormon). She then showed us the video, and I had to fight super hard not to laugh. It kept going on and on and on about points that literally had NOTHING to do with what we believe. (Like how apparently we believe that Adam was resurrected to make a baby with Mary, and that's where Jesus comes from. ...Where on earth did you vomit that out of?) We told her to write a list of her questions, and that in our next visit, we would answer all of them out of the scriptures. He then pointed out that if she really wanted to know stuff, she could and should just ask us. We do believe in living "Thou shalt not bear false witness", and would answer any and all of her questions to the best of our abilities.

But then that got me thinking: we are a bunch of barely just Adults, out teaching in a totally different land, and then asking those we teach to ASK GOD if the things we teach are true. Even if I didn't have the Testimony of this Gospel that I do have, the faith that the LDS Church has in a bunch of barely post-adolecents to spread this Gospel AND likewise the faith that God HIMSELF will confirm that what they teach is true would kind of make me wonder if what they're teaching could perhaps indeed be the true Word of God.

To all of you out there going through hard times, I want you to know that God does care. I've heard lately of challenges that a significant amount of you are currently passing through, and really, I just want to take each one of you into my arms, to let you know that all truly will be alright. Well, since I can't do that, I suppose my words will have to be the balm in this instance.

God answers prayers. I can personally testify of this. There've been many instances in my life in which I've felt lost and indeed, quite alone. There have been patches in my life where I've stumbled, and others where I've fallen. Once, in fact, before most of you knew me, I fell into one of the deepest and most bitter pits I've ever dug.

I've heard the cry quite frequently, "why does God let bad things happen to good people?" As one who has passed through darkness, I will tell you rather simply: it is to understand the light. Yes, we will struggle, and at times, we will fall. But it is in these moments of struggle that we become stronger. Indeed, if it were not for the days of difficulty, I would not be who I am. How many of you wonder why I'm so happy? It's because of the challenges I've passed through. So, to clarify a bit: why does God let bad things happen to good people? Because it makes us stronger.

I testify in the name of Him who I serve, that if we turn to Him, we will receive the strength to overcome. I've noted a few friends of mine who have done this same act, called upon God, and indeed received the strength to overcome. You will make it. You are beautiful Sons and Daughters of our Heavenly Father, and you've come too far to back down now. He will aid us through all, if we just trust in Him.

Keep Your Flames Burning Bright!
-Elder Jones,
Master of Inspiration, Encouragement, and Popcorn Making.
(I've been making a lot of Popcorn this past week.)

Insanity Just Got Bumped Up to An 11

Greetings Nerds of all ages! The time has come for you to once again remember that weirdo who left to a foreign country for two years! WOO!!

Alright, there's a twist this time: I've not a single story regarding freaky Dominican Girls. Weird, I know, but there's not such this week. I'm so sorry. :D

Big big changes these next six weeks! The city I'm in, Villa Altagracia, normally consists of two areas, the north and the south, and because of such is shared by two sets of missionaries. This transfer (period of six weeks), the two areas are getting merged into a single baked cookie, of which Elder Thibault and I alone have to devour. In time (hopefully next transfer), two other missionaries will be sent here, the city will be divided again, and it'll be our solemn duty to teach them the ways of Villa Altagracia. ...So, even after I get a new companion, Elder Thibault and I will still be living in the same house. Wack!

And now for a well-baked (and slightly random) story. We often pass by this bakery on our way to a certain part of town. Fortunatly for me, I happen to have a very close relationship with bread, and decided one day to buy a bit. However, as I still wear the Gringo crown, it is at times difficult to fully follow the Spanish soaked conversations, so I occasionally just nod and repeat random words (it works stangely well). Well, I asked for a piece of 25 Peso bread, and she asked me a question that I didn't quite follow. So...I just sort of nodded and said the latter of the two options, not at all knowing what I was buying. ...It was perhaps one of the biggest and most beautiful boulders of bread I've ever seen in my life. Needless to say...well, I rejoiced a bit. :D

Elder Thibault and I have been focusing more on asking Inspired Questions, or rather, following the promptings of the Spirit and saying what the Investigator needs to hear. Such has had beautiful results, as the Spirit has been magnimoniously strong in our lessons, and we've been able to find out what they need to be taught. For example, we were teaching a Less-Active Member of the Church, and after asking an Inspired Question, we learned that the main reason he's not been at Church was because of the lack of support and fellowship he feels from the other Members. Needless to say, we set out to fix such. Miracles all around us!

And Ward Karoake Night! Can't foget that. Elder Thibault and I sang an inspiring ballad of "A Whole New World" from Aladdin (in Spanish, no less). And amigos, a notation for next week! If any of you would like letters from me (it's like the only way I can write replies; I've not a lot of time to email) please reply to this email with your home address. Woot!

Paz!
-Elder Jones

If You Want To See A 10...Well, Just Look At Me. ;P

¿Cómo estáis mis amigos? (¡¡CHANELING ESPAÑA!!)

Entonces! Here´s a weird thought for all of thou to chew on! I´m already 1/10 of the way through my mission. How flipping wack is that?!

And now for your weekly dosage of the Dominicanized Gringo.

Man, have I got a story for you! It´s a very well seasoned story, with the perfect blend of herbs, spices, and perfectly balanced INSANITY.
*Shudders*
Alright, so this story beings with the Elder Thibault and I out contacting, trying to find those who hold interest in our message of the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ. As we were contacting this one house (in which the older lady inside seemed torn between hiding and coming to talk to us), another lady came out from around the house with her kids, and started talking to us. We asked if we could come back another day and share our message with her, to which she responded yes. ...I'm not sure how it got brought up, but somehow we got talking about how old we are (I already look older than I am, so to a Dominican, I look flipping ANCIENT). When we stated that we were 18 and 19, we heard a delighted shriek (warning sign) from inside. This 18-year old girl comes running out, and reconfirms with us that we're the age that we said we were, then immediatly asks us if we have girlfriends. Before we can answer, however, another girl, the same age, runs out, and asks the exact same question. Elder Thibault responds yes, and (though I honestly wish I could say differently) out of respect for the truth, I'd to respond "no". The two of them kept pestering us about such, until Elder Thibault posed, "Why do you ask?"
"Oh, no reason."
Yeah right.
Anyway, so we took our leave, and returned another day, for our appointment.
As we walked through the door, we both felt immediately that something was off. We weren't sure of how we missed it in our first encounter, but you know how some people simply have crazy written all over their face? Yeah, this lady was drenched in that. She literally had THE Crazy Laugh. So we decided to get out of there ASAP. However, as we went to close, one of the flirty girls from the day before entered, and though I'm not sure why, but we felt safer with her there. So we got through the lesson, all the while this crazy lady keeps randomly talking about these boyfriends she's had. After we finish with a prayer (I'm not sure why, but then we told them the story of the Fruit Stand from 2-3 weeks ago), and we go to shake hands goodbye. As I shake this lady's hand, she clasps on with extreme firmness, and holds such for an extremly long time. Elder Thibault and I laughed, as such was a reference to the story that we just told, but then she kept holding. And kept holding. I'd try to pull away, and she kept holding. Eventually, it got weird, and I sharply pulled my hand out of her grasp. She laughed (*Shudder* crazy laugh) and said that it was just a joke, but there was something in her eyes that I didn't like. We rapidly moved to leave, and as soon as Elder Thibault's back was turned, she slipped a piece of paper into my shirt pocket. Petrified with horror, I could do nothing but hastily power-walk to the door.
As we walked down the front walk, I whispered to Elder Thibault, "Okay, wait until we get far enough away from the house. Wait for it, wait for it..."
He waited for it...
I then turned to him and firmly decreed, "Elder, we are NEVER going back there AGAIN."
"Yeah I know, she was really weird."
"NO. That's not what I mean."
"...What do you mean?"
"As soon as your back was turned, SHE FREAKING SLIPPED A SLIP OF PAPER IN MY POCKET."
"...What?!"
Shuddering with revulsion, I extracted the demon slip to find, scribbed in perfect crazy, name, number, and "Call Me!"
...WHAT THE BACON BITS IS WRONG WITH YOU, FRECCA?! (The Dominican word for an extremly flirty person.) YOU ARE LIKE FOURTY FREAKING YEARS OLD, AND YOU'RE MARRIED!! (Then I remembered she'd said her youngest child had been with someone other than her husband [and that her husband has been in Spain for a really long time] BUT STILL!!)
 ...Needless to say, I cast the crap out of that satan scroll. It's feeding termites nightmares somewhere among a Dominican pile of rubbish.
*Shudder*
To my friends, I say one thing. THANK YOU FOR BEING THE SANE PEOPLE YOU ARE, AND FOR LIKEWISE HAVING SUCH HIGH MORAL STANDARDS.
Man, even the memory makes me feel like I'm going to throw up...*Shudder*

Oh! I tried contacting by myself on a Guagua, set the appointment and eveything...but later realized that I'd forgotten to ask for an address or nmber to contact him by. So...yeah. I'M A GREENIE LANTERN!! WOOSH!

And that's all I've got story-wise. Next week's MKzing email is going to cost you though: I'm expecting ALL OF YOU to send me a clever joke. YOU'VE A WEEK TO COMPLETE SUCH AN ASSIGNMENT.

Paz y amor!
-The Elder Jones

Picture time!

Receiving a package from mom and dad :) Made it there untouched.

MK and comp - Elder Thibault from Eagle, Idaho

MK titles this one - "The Younglings"

The Missionaries of Villa Altagracia - Elder MK, Elder Thibault, Elder Oscal, and Elder Perez

The MTC [namely Cindy Lou Who, Santa, and Rudolph]

Thibault, Perez, and Creepy MK

Living quarters

Baptism of Cinthia. "The missionaries have been teaching her for a time, and the baptism was scheduled for when I came in. I'm such an awesome missionary, people get baptized without my having to teach them! ;D" - MK

9! Like The Movie! BUT BETTER! (Only by a little.)

"Bouncing in at number 9, here he comes, it's ELDER JONES!!!!"
*Crowd applauding and screaming like mad*
...What, overkill? Okay okay, I realize that introduction was kind of lame, but it's already been typed! There's no way to take it back now...(and feel free to point out the "Backspace" key; I'll take it into consideration a week from now. ;P )

*Grampy Voice* Entonces! Let's crack down on that which it yet to be told, shall we?

Well well well! We're ever popular here with the ladies (it's kind of scary)! As Elder Tibault and I were skipping merrily (slight exaggeration) to our next appointment, a large group of girls (about 17-ish I think) shouted after us, asking us in English where we were from (that's like one of the three things people here know how to say in English. The other two are "Hi, how are you my friend?", and...well, something rather impolite). We answered, and they immedietly asked if they could take a picture (note the singular) with us. Elder Thibault seemed stunned (not sure why), and before he could form a reply, my mouth had automatically formed the word "Claro" ("sure"). Suddenly, we were being swarmed by these girls who wanted to snap a stillshot with the two pasty foreigners (what's wrong with chu? Ain't you never seen a white guy before? [one of my favorite things to say to Elder Thibault whenever people gwak at us]). As they piled up around us, my missionary instincts kicked in, and I moved quickly to make sure that my companion and I were not seperated amidst this Feminine Flood. What I didn't process, however, was that in my Elderly fear, I'd grabbed on to the arm of Elder Thibault to prevent our seperation. As soon as the psynapses in my bain finally...well..."snapped" together, I slipped my arm away (we don't need to be giving people any more reasons to think we're weird ;P ).
Somehow, neither the girls nor Elder Thibault took any notice. :D
Anyway! So then they started doing individual pics with us, which was when Elder Thibault rgained his ability to speak and told them that this was the final pic. So the girl walks up, and the rest are telling us that it's her birthday. Awkwardly, Elder Thibault responds, "...Congratulations?"
We were then told to hug her, to which we rapidly replied that we could not. Then we booked it! Woo!

This last Saturday, we had the privilege of being able to go to the Temple, so as to accompany our Ward Mission Leader (Jason) and his wife (yes, actually married for realsies) for their family's Sealing (including their two little daughters). Awesome opportunity! And, as a heap of whipped cream atop this pumpkin pie, I was able to see some people from the Missionary Training Center, both teachers (Hola, Hermano Nuñez!) and other missionaries (Paz, Hermana Twiner!). And the best part is, we got to go just before the next group left! *Shuffles in place to The PianoGuys*

Haircuts! I shet my first blades of hair here upon Dominican soil. It is indeed glorious...but I rather miss my old strands. *Hair whip, realizes such isn't possible, weeps* It's better than Elder Thibault's, though. He was trying to cut his own hair (and he would have mostly succeeded), but when he asked another Elder for some help with such, a slight mistake was made, and too much was shaved off on the back. ...That, and it kind of looked like he was pulling off a serious Foehawk, due to the length of the hair atop his head. He later had to get some assistance from a Barber in putting it right. :D

I received my first package! GLORIOUS! Like mana from Heaven...except in several different flavors! The box itself came with several pictures of Jesus on it, as doing such almosy garentees that it will NOT get stolen. Does such actually work? Beats me, but it did for mine! :D

And last note, I'm struggling with one tiny little thing. It's not really a big deal, but...MY SISTER IS NOW TWELVE!!! WHAT HAPPENED?! THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG HERE! :D It's wacky how fast the time goes! I've not really processed that I've been gone more than two months!

The Lord continues to bless us! Things are spectacular here! Yeah, we have our days where we come home after a day fraught with rejection, and our feet feel as though they're about to fall off, but it is in these moments of trial that we come to truly appreciate all that our Savior did for us, all that he went through for us to be free. It's in these moments that we indeed feel closest with our Redeemer.

Paz y Amor to all y'alls! Allonz-Y!
-Elder Jones