I Lost Count. 36! We Will Go With That! (*Mom didn't, it's 37 ;-D)

"And The Lord said, "Let there be a weird quirky post-adolescent nerd with a severe lack of melanin in his skin, and let him preach My gospel upon a small Frecca-infested Caribbean Island for two years". And there was Elder Jones. And The Lord saw that he was awkward, geeky and made random sarcastic comments at whim, and said, "It is good"."

...I was half-expecting a bolt of lightning to strike me as I wrote that. :D

I am going to be completely and whole-heartedly honest: I am freakishly exhausted. A huge part of that is due to the fact that I went hard-core in a game of Soccer for about three hours...without eating any breakfast or drinking any water. I later guzzled down three bottles of water, and nearly screamed with joy. WATER IS BEAUTIFUL. (And the game was fun too! I think I shed all fat from my body!)

I've a new comp, named Elder Peterson (I relaed such in the last General Email). He has two transfers less than I, and utilizes one of the purest forms of sarcasm I've ever seen. Apparently, this is the first time that two gringos have been in this area together for about two years. (Our Branch President keeps making jokes that they "whited-out" the area. Because we're white. [In all fairness, he's been making that joke since I first got here. :D ] Such is GREAT for our English Class!)

I don't really have any glorious stories this week about super awesome investigators; we're kind of struggling at the mo to find good investigators. Such is life, right? WE PRESS ON IN FAITH AND LOVE AND PEACE AND PROSPERITY AND TRANQUILITY AND UNITY AND HOPE AND HAPPINESS AND GLORY!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! *Double Fist Pump/Shuffle in Place*

And now, I must flopp away. OPTIMISM RULES!

-Elder Jonesie, as they call me.

Week 35, I think? Umm...I've no flippin' idea. (*Mom knows- it's week 36 ;-D)

GREETINGS FROM THE LAND OF RICE AND BEANS! The glorious and gorgeous (and humble) Elder Jones is back to tell y'alls what's what! YEEEAH!

And now, I go to my journal so I can remember what the poop happened this last week.

The Transfers are in, and ELDER SERRATY WILL BE LEAVING MY SIDE FOREVERMORE! *Weeps bitterly*

It hurts, I know.

On the bright side, I'M GOING TO BE A STEP-FATHER AGAIN!! WOO!! His name is Elder Peterson...and he's actually the Trainee of one of the Zone Leaders. Yeah. He's going to be in the same Zone for his second comp/area. WACK! But dope, nonetheless.

I GOT SICK THIS WEEK! Tuesday eve, I twas out walking, whenst I felt upon my knecaps a lack of energy. Mine corpse though filled with life twas now reeling under the weight of a great nothingness. We retreated to our yonder abode, where I fell into a light slumber for the space of ten hours. When the following day dawned, I still lacked wholeness, so I thus aboded in my abode for the space of another day. It twas indeed a moment of great suffering and great sorrow. 

The dog downstairs went crazy when we went down to visit Marica (our neighbor), because we were clad in street clothes in the place of our normal missionary garb. She didn't recognize us dresed differently! (It should be noted that the dog is a chiwawa, so the spectacle was more hilarious than anything).

We made PIZZA! IT WAS GLORIOUS! AGAIN! (I'd make it every Sunday here if I could...but our oven doesn't work. No pizza is better than dying in a grand explosion, right? [Did that make grammatical sense?])

And now, a spiritual experience. For the past little while, I'd been trying to understand as to exactly why I didn't feel joy here in the mission, and why the work didn't feel satisfying. I could remember feeling happiness in the mission before, so what had changed? I pondered and prayed over this for a while, and the answer came to me during Church this last Sunday (Church attendance = personal revelation!). I suddenly remembered two quotes from the past, which tied together perfectly. The first was of my mother: "Attitude is Everything."

And the second was from a personal experience that occured in the MTC. When Elder Hugo Martinez of the Second Quorum Seventy visited us, we, at the end, shook his hand. When my turn came, he said to me, "The thing that will make the biggest difference will be your smile."

At that time, I thought he was talking about that it would make the biggest difference to my investigators, but this last Sunday, I realized that it applied mostly to me. Here was the key! The smile! Smile when you're angry, and your anger melts away. Smile when you're tired, and you're filled with energy. Smile when you're sad or lonely, and the feelings break apart. Your mind becomes clear, and you take a fresh, clearer perspective on the situation. Since that moment, I've felt full of joy and optimism for the work, and it has indeed been greatly more satisfying. God answers every prayer! At times, He asks us to have patience and wait for His answer, but He ALWAYS answers EVERY prayer!

Paz, Amor, Unidad, Serenidad!

-Elder Jonesie

A VERY IMPORTANT NOTE!!

Wei! Just as a jot, you chaps CAN NOW write me by email! ...I still can't respond to all because of time limitations, but I will try to hit up a few every week. But yeah, the rules changed, and now I CAN write y'all electronically! WOO!!!

-Elder Jones

Subject: This Is The Oldest I´ve Ever Been! (Also Week 35)

LEVEL UP!!! I´m now a level 19 Paladin! WOO!!!! (I´ve a photo about this that I´d love to send...but I think my card has a virus...the photos refuse to admit their existance in the computer.)
Nevertheless, I´m 19! I´m not sure what privileges this grants me...I´m sure I now have another attribute point or something. :D

 My favorite thing about having missionary friends is that as I write, a pile of their weekly letters suddenly appear in my inbox. It´s glorious.

So! Brought back by poppular demand, HERE IT IS...THE GLORIOUS AND MYSTIFYINGLY MKZING (whoops, I mean Elder Joneszing) WEEKLY LETTER!!! YEAH!

Well, starting with my oldest memory, this last P-Day, our Zone visited a big hole in the ground (we rolled like tourists to these National Park-type caves near our area). It was rather exquisite; we had several deep conversations (Tim, if you´re reading this, high five). I´d send photos, but...umm...yeah.
Skipping ahead to later on in the week, as we entered into an apartment to teach a first lesson, my eyes fell upon the most beautiful and glorious person I´d ever seen in my life: a Chinese man speaking Spanish, clad in a shirt that displayed both the American and British flags. HE WAS LIKE THE HUMAN MANEFESTATION OF THE UNITY OF THE NATIONS!!!!! So glorious...
 (You all were expecting something totally different when you started reading this.)

I´m not sure if you´ve seen the video (to my Parents: please put such on the blog where this emails are posted), but I had a wonderfully firey ending to the anniversary of my birth. We were downstairs from our house, in the house of the members who pranked me my first day in this area, when the son of this family challenged me to eat a little harmless red chili. (Okay, to be fair, he jokingly said, ¨Do you want one?¨, to which I pulled a YOLF (You Only Live Forever (my version of YOLO)) and ate one.)
 ...Yeah, my mouth was engulfed in flames. :D I was crying like a cracked aquarium, sweat poured from my gorgeous scalp, and my face was just a shade lighter than Rudolf´s Nose. The video you see is actually two minutes AFTER I ate the pepper, by which point I´d spewed the flaming midget vegetable corpse out of my mouth and into Outer Darkness. I nearly died.

And now, a spiritual note. In my mission, I´ve gained a strong testimony about the Gift of Tongues. I say this because I realized (after a while; it´s interesting that it´s taken me such a while to notice) that in our lessons, when the Spirit is present, my Spanish and my English seem to become one, and I can speak without difficulty (this is compared to outside of lessons, where on occasion (less now; this applies more to in the months before) I forget a point of grammar or mispronounce a word or fumble for a definition). Likewise, the fact that I was able to become fluent in a language in only six months attests to Divine Aid. The Lord does indeed give great assistance to His servants!

 Also, I´ve started reading ¨Jesus The Christ¨. It is a glorious work, and really helps you to better understand the Lord´s ministry, before His birth, during His life, and after His death. I´d recommend such to all!

Paz y amor!
-Elder Jones, Lord of Highly Concentrated Wackiness 

on fire!!

Wei! This is MK! I ate a chili pepper for birthday fun and nearly died! WOOOO!!

Almost 34 weeks!!!

A photo of the entire mission!!! WOO!!

We (as a Zone) visited a cave today! I want to send photos, but I think my card has a virus that is preventing the photos from showing up on the computer!

Love ya! I´ve got to bounce! (This one hour of internet thing is super dificult...but I´m trying to sustain my Preisthood Leader in such.)