Konichiwa, all of you Americanos! Tis I, the Lord of Insanity and Flattery! (As in, I flatten things. True story.)
Como estan ustedes?
The
Land of la Republica Dominica is fantastic! In fact, just the other day
(and by that, I mean a week ago), we left the shroud of the Missionary
Training Center for a season to invite others to hear the glorious words
of Christ. As our squadron of Momos skipped through the gates
roundabout our Center of Training, we belted loose in magnanimous cries
of that song "For the First Time in Forever" from the Frozen Soundtrack
(focused especially on the part regarding opening up the gate). As we
cavorted across the road (narrowly avoiding death [not really, but the
drivers here really are worse than Utah drivers]), we breathed deeply
and laced our lungs with fantabulastical Dominican air.
Bits
and tidbits to share...hmm...I wait for this all week, but then draw a
blank as soon as I start typing. Ah! So like I mentioned before, we
ventured out into the real world, and popped over to la Universidad,
taking in a few more sights of Santo Domingo. And lo, as we arrived,
like an eggshell upon pavement our formation of Elders and Hermanas
split in every which way, speeding off in packs of two (and on rare
instances, three). We spoke in our floppy spanish with the students
there, who were indeed insanely polite like had been foretold. Several
were interested in our message of the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ,
and those who weren't were nice enough to politely listen.
Hahaha;
there was, however, one chap, who Elder Harsh (my companion) and I bore
strong testimony to that God lives, and that through his son Jesus
Christ, all can be clean from their sins and iniquities. He responded
that he didn't believe in Jesus Christ or God...and then there was about
a sentence or two that I didn't understand...and something about the
supernatural.
Oh,
and then a missionary from an Evangelical Church chatted with us for a
moment or two. After a bit of trying to discern what he was saying (he
spoke insanely rapidly, and with a gigantic slur to boot), we realized
he was asking for money. After explaining to him that we were likewise
without money, he smiled and walked away. Fun fun!
In
other news, the cauldron of my heart has been boiling white-hot for
quite at the concept that my shoulder bag lacks the sufficient
capability to carry a bottle of water. (Which is extremely important
here; dehydration is as easy to come by as dirt in the ground. En
serio.) However, when an MK (sorry, Elder Jones) sees a problem, he runs
around in a storm wearing a metal suit until a bolt of lightning
strikes his gorgeously handsome frame and delivers an idea from above!
(And then he waits in the hospital for a couple of weeks until his
charred skeleton is repaired enough to execute the aforementioned idea.)
Needless
to say, but it shall be said anyway, I summoned my inner McGuiverr! Or
McGiaverr! Or MKgiiver! (However that's spelled!)
Like
a highly trained assassin, I backflipped off my bed, then cartwheeled
to my suitcase. With only a single tear shed, I procured my crappiest
pair of socks (clean, mind you), and slit the foot garment in twain. I
then snatched up the lower half, and, sacrificing the next five hours
for the sake of awesomeness, stitched in onto my bag, bonding the two
fabrics to become one whole. INSTA-BOTTLE HOLDER!!
Also, I discovered my love for sewing. Weirdly brilliant.
Random
things...Elder Smith smeared shaving cream on his face, pulled on a red
shirt, then subsequently stuffed a pillow under the aforementioned
shirt, and then sub-subsequently grabbed his bag of dirty laundry and
slung it over his shoulder. I similarly strapped a red-light headlamp to
my face, then hung socks from my ears. Together, we were the most
terrifying/ghetto Santa and Rudolf EVAR!!! ...And we stopped by another
Elder's room at 11PM so as to help him celebrate his birthday. Nothing says birthday better than hillbilly Christmas!
Also, in this line of thinking, I ran down a hallway making chicken noises. ...There's no way to make that sound sane. :D
My
ankle has mostly healed, so I've returned to dominating Ultimate
Frisbee/Volleyball. Actually, fun story: one of the teachers here is a
mega-nerd (Avatar, Naruto, Pokemon; the works), and he "claims" to have
access to eight "gates" of power within his body (like chacras). Opening
one grants him an insane burst of power, and the more he opens, the
more powerful he becomes (but after he used the eighth gate, he dies).
For now, the highest he can get is to the fourth gate, as his body isn't
strong enough to go any higher. For now. Anyway, Frisbee got intense
(try saying that without smiling) and he did something I'd never seen
before: HE OPENED THE FOURTH GATE. Normally, he just goes one or two,
but four...never before. So intense...and we still lost. :D
*Taps
to the rhythm of a Time Lord's heartbeat* That's all I have for now! I
grow more powerful every day in Spanish, and soon I shall be able to
pass as a native Dominican! Because that's the only thing keeping me
from passing as such! ;D
So long, farewell, aviresen adieu! *Double fist pump*
Adios!
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